Facing Fears and Goldfish.

Ever been told you were not good enough, that you were a second choice because the first choice that was really wanted was not available? how did it affect you? as a 9 year old in the midst transition, trying to fit in, fresh off the boat from Africa this experience had a profound affect on my view of myself. 24 years later I'm still thinking about it and self diagnosing it.

I've been told to get over my past that it is keeping me from living fully in the present. I know that to be true but believing that I'm better than second place and second class is easier said than done.

It's a belief that I've allowed to take root in me.

I've gotten comfortable and familiar with the way I see myself. My fears are predictable and provide the boundaries to my comfort zone, keeping me from exploring new horizons and successes. I've become like the goldfish who is out of his small bowl and in a bathtub but doesn't venture beyond the space of the fishbowl even though the glass is no longer there.

Time to reexamine if I'm still that little 9 yr old who believed that lie from a grown-up.

OK I just checked...no I'm not. So what do I do with it now? Time to let go of feeling and seeing myself as only good enough for second place in life.

The fear is a fear of letting it go because now I'll have to act like it's not true and I've never done that before.

It is one step out of the comfort zone... I'll let you know how it goes changing my belief and life! I am capable of being nunber 1 and I want that for ME!!