WOW! What a year 2009 has been!
I was recently chatting with a friend and we briefly observed that at this time last year... both of us were looking at huge question marks as we looked our respective futures in the face.
Last December... I was married to a wonderful woman with whom I wanted to start a family,(little did I know that our relationship was on the rocks). I had taken a dead-end job in retail photography to help make ends meet after being unemployed for 4 months and was working crazy hours during the holiday season with no great job prospects in sight.
Fast forward to March 09. My work hours severely cut, my marriage came to an end as it took its last gasping breath. I moved out and we were both done. Years of missed communication and unmet expectations came to a head. I was on my own. The divorce was swift and cordial. I left 8 years of companionship behind. Boy did I have a ton of question marks staring me in the face then! Where was I going to live? What about a steady job and transportation? I had lost my heart.
Then the most amazing things started happening. With the providence of God and I'm sure the prayers of family and friends the doors of the abundance of the universe began to open.
First a place to stay with friends and then a truck for transportation. And then the blessing of a full-time job (with medical benefits) that provided the means to rent a great place with wonderful roommates and to purchase a reliable sporty coupe!
Since then, I have joined a gym and grown physically and mentally as I have accepted more responsibility (with a move up the pay scale) at work. I really enjoy what I do with Care and Share and can see that I am making a difference as part of a team!
I have also rediscovered a part of me that I had buried. My body was made to move and I get a great deal of joy from dancing. I have gone out dancing and it has been really such a blast!
During this past year I have also made some amazing new friends and reconnected with old ones who have spoken life into me. I feel that I am right where I am meant to be.
I have experienced a tremendous amount this year, physically and emotionally it has been a wild ride. Had I known that I would have gone through the tangled mess of heartache and pain to the joy of rediscovered passion, I don't know if I would have signed up for it.
As it it I wouldn't change a thing! And I am beginning to truly believe that we can accomplish the most impossible of things! :)
I know there are still question marks that loom into 2010 and beyond for me and for you. I will meet mine with confidence and courage. Will you meet yours that way too?
....on the road to discovering a full life!
Isaac
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Are you really living life to the fullest?
Today is a day of remembrance for me. September 11. Last year on this date I wrote a short post that paid homage to two of my favorite people.
I lost my brother Thaddeus to mental illness and suicide on this date in 1996.
I lost my uncle Jonathan in the WTC disaster on this date in 2001.
you can read my blog post from last year here.
The question that I'm contemplating today is...What does living life to the fullest look like? and what does it take for us to actually live it?
maybe a great place to start is to ask ourselves what we want out of life.
So what doe you want? what does your "life to the fullest" look like?
I lost my brother Thaddeus to mental illness and suicide on this date in 1996.
I lost my uncle Jonathan in the WTC disaster on this date in 2001.
you can read my blog post from last year here.
The question that I'm contemplating today is...What does living life to the fullest look like? and what does it take for us to actually live it?
maybe a great place to start is to ask ourselves what we want out of life.
So what doe you want? what does your "life to the fullest" look like?
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Good Discussions... talking & listening
I love great conversations. I recently had a really good one with my brother Toby.
I feel refreshed, my burdens lift and I'm inspired to keep searching and dreaming about what this life is all about at the end of a great conversation.
I am reminded that the real sharing and living of life is done by being real about the feelings and thoughts in the journey with other people.
We discussed the challenges we face and what it takes to is to work through and understand and each other when emotionally charged issues arise.
It has been said that if you want to have a civil conversation, you should avoid the topics surrounding religion, politics and sex with those that have differing views than you. Also that real friendship and understanding is not possible with others of different opinions on these topics.
As I've thought about it, I realize that these topics strike a deep cord in most of us and are tied directly to the fundamental view we have of ourselves and we often feel our view threatened and have the need to defend our position and the face of a different option.
It is uncomfortable to be open to and understand the views of others, then those views are seen as challenging what we have always believed about how the world "should" be and what we "should" do. It can unsettle the relationship when and if we find that those we have agreed with in the past embrace a new and different view.
So... is it possible to still be friends and differ on these topics? Can we understand those on the other side of the fence and still be "friends"?
Last night I watched the movie "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas" and it struck me again how easily children can break through the ideological and social barriers we construct (around ourselves as adults) to define and "protect" ourselves. In our attempts to define and live within the comfort zones of our relationships we often miss out on relationships or experiences that would enrich and bring new dimensions to our lives.
Are we willing to be courageous enough and willing to take the risk to open up discussions across the lines, and to really listen even regarding those things we feel strongly about?
I believe our lives will be richer of it if we do!
I feel refreshed, my burdens lift and I'm inspired to keep searching and dreaming about what this life is all about at the end of a great conversation.
I am reminded that the real sharing and living of life is done by being real about the feelings and thoughts in the journey with other people.
We discussed the challenges we face and what it takes to is to work through and understand and each other when emotionally charged issues arise.
It has been said that if you want to have a civil conversation, you should avoid the topics surrounding religion, politics and sex with those that have differing views than you. Also that real friendship and understanding is not possible with others of different opinions on these topics.
As I've thought about it, I realize that these topics strike a deep cord in most of us and are tied directly to the fundamental view we have of ourselves and we often feel our view threatened and have the need to defend our position and the face of a different option.
It is uncomfortable to be open to and understand the views of others, then those views are seen as challenging what we have always believed about how the world "should" be and what we "should" do. It can unsettle the relationship when and if we find that those we have agreed with in the past embrace a new and different view.
So... is it possible to still be friends and differ on these topics? Can we understand those on the other side of the fence and still be "friends"?
Last night I watched the movie "The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas" and it struck me again how easily children can break through the ideological and social barriers we construct (around ourselves as adults) to define and "protect" ourselves. In our attempts to define and live within the comfort zones of our relationships we often miss out on relationships or experiences that would enrich and bring new dimensions to our lives.
Are we willing to be courageous enough and willing to take the risk to open up discussions across the lines, and to really listen even regarding those things we feel strongly about?
I believe our lives will be richer of it if we do!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Geting back on the horse
The last six months have involved some huge changes for me. I went from a married man to who I thought was the love of my life to a single man again. 8 years spent learning and growing with a really great woman came to an end.
My life looks comepletely different than I had ever anticipated 6 months ago. The questions I've kept asking myself revolve around what I've learned and look at what the future holds for me.
The reality is there are times are things that break up relationships. It is just part of life and I think I've come away a wiser and open person for walking down this road which was unforseen or willingly chosen. I've learned that life is not esaily layed out neatly before us. We tend to get caught up with how we expect life to be and what it will look like and how it "should" work. The more I've seen and experienced life ...I can say that the more I know the more I have to learn.
Things that I took for granted before I don't anymore. Judgements and boxes I had put other people in to make "sense" of life are not there anymore. I have made my share of mistakes in my past relationships including my recently deceased marriage. So the question is what do I do now? Take what I've learned about myself and how I act and interact with those I love and build the life I aspire to.
As this past chapter has ended a new one is beginning. I'm still on the quest for a full life.
It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. it ain't easy though.
if you are interested in a couple of the lessons surely this past 6 months has taught me, check out my other blog
I'm in a place where I've found my voice again and will be writing more often.
My life looks comepletely different than I had ever anticipated 6 months ago. The questions I've kept asking myself revolve around what I've learned and look at what the future holds for me.
The reality is there are times are things that break up relationships. It is just part of life and I think I've come away a wiser and open person for walking down this road which was unforseen or willingly chosen. I've learned that life is not esaily layed out neatly before us. We tend to get caught up with how we expect life to be and what it will look like and how it "should" work. The more I've seen and experienced life ...I can say that the more I know the more I have to learn.
Things that I took for granted before I don't anymore. Judgements and boxes I had put other people in to make "sense" of life are not there anymore. I have made my share of mistakes in my past relationships including my recently deceased marriage. So the question is what do I do now? Take what I've learned about myself and how I act and interact with those I love and build the life I aspire to.
As this past chapter has ended a new one is beginning. I'm still on the quest for a full life.
It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. it ain't easy though.
if you are interested in a couple of the lessons surely this past 6 months has taught me, check out my other blog
I'm in a place where I've found my voice again and will be writing more often.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Belonging Challenge
To all you guys and gals out there I'd like to invite you to this Belonging challenge. My friend Brice Royer has such a great idea. I envite you to join me as I take up Brice's Belonging Challenge.
In this world of interconnectedness we still need to know that we belong with other people in tangible ways.
The Belonging Challenge is designed for each of us to reach out to at least one other human being. One that we would not normally or automatically extend the hand of belonging to.
In this world of interconnectedness we still need to know that we belong with other people in tangible ways.
The Belonging Challenge is designed for each of us to reach out to at least one other human being. One that we would not normally or automatically extend the hand of belonging to.
the Belonging Challenge is a series of challenges that break out of our comfort zone and perhaps build a better world.
Watch the video here:http://briceroyer.com/challengeready
One behalf of my friend Brice,
Thank you for joining us in this challenge, you belong with us!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Introductions, Labels, & "Where are you going?"
I've been thinking about labels. Some of my friends on MKnet have been discussing how we introduce ourselves and asking about how much we share in an introduction.
It seems as TCKs we get our identity and experiences from our childhood years, from the places we have lived and the the experiences that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. If I was to tell you that before age 4 I had experienced life in rural Mexico and the States and then began the rest of my childhood and teenage years in West Africa with two pivotal years (ages 10 and 11) in the the United States how would you respond? Does the fact that I have now lived (from age 17 to 35) and graduated from high school and college in the States make me seem more American?What I have done with these last 18 years in the States is part of what makes me who I am.
Certainly I have cross-cultural roots, but I have some roots here in the USA too.
Yes, the continent of my earlier years tugs at my heart, whispering sweetly in my dreams or shouting above the din of suburban life. But it is not the only voice. This country of my current sojourn makes its impassioned plea for my attention as well. From the sweet rolling hills of the blue ridge mountains to beaches of California and now to the foothills of the rocky mountains.
The traveling and living I've done in this land has been amazing.Were I made to choose between the land of my youth and the one where I make my current home...I must confess, I could not, for they are both so dear to me. It is not just the physical geography, but the geography and it's people (all my friends) that I have come to love.
For me, to be defined (or labeled) by where one had been is one thing, one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is defined by where I'm going, who I will be in the future. The past is gone, it is the future that is before me. Deciding who I am in the future starts with choosing who I am today.
Why is it that people always ask "where we you from?" and not "where are you going?"
Mind if I ask?...Where are you going in life from here?
It seems as TCKs we get our identity and experiences from our childhood years, from the places we have lived and the the experiences that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. If I was to tell you that before age 4 I had experienced life in rural Mexico and the States and then began the rest of my childhood and teenage years in West Africa with two pivotal years (ages 10 and 11) in the the United States how would you respond? Does the fact that I have now lived (from age 17 to 35) and graduated from high school and college in the States make me seem more American?What I have done with these last 18 years in the States is part of what makes me who I am.
Certainly I have cross-cultural roots, but I have some roots here in the USA too.
Yes, the continent of my earlier years tugs at my heart, whispering sweetly in my dreams or shouting above the din of suburban life. But it is not the only voice. This country of my current sojourn makes its impassioned plea for my attention as well. From the sweet rolling hills of the blue ridge mountains to beaches of California and now to the foothills of the rocky mountains.
The traveling and living I've done in this land has been amazing.Were I made to choose between the land of my youth and the one where I make my current home...I must confess, I could not, for they are both so dear to me. It is not just the physical geography, but the geography and it's people (all my friends) that I have come to love.
For me, to be defined (or labeled) by where one had been is one thing, one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is defined by where I'm going, who I will be in the future. The past is gone, it is the future that is before me. Deciding who I am in the future starts with choosing who I am today.
Why is it that people always ask "where we you from?" and not "where are you going?"
Mind if I ask?...Where are you going in life from here?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Hylighter : A Collaboration Tool for Geographically dispersed teams
Collaboration tools. We live in a time that makes telecommuting to work a viable option. I recently came across a great tool at I think would help those of us that work creatively and in teams that have members that are geographically dispersed.
The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.
The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Stepping Up to the Plate in the Game called Life
What do you say, how do you respond, when you are called upon unexpectedly to fill in for a co-worker in need? Yesterday morning I got a call from a co-worker that requested my help in the studio on my day off.
here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:
a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion
b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out
c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed
d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.
It may seem like the choices here are simple.
I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)
The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.
Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.
the best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.
when we are inwardly directed we are:
-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.
(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses
This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to an outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.
Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.
Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.
Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!
here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:
a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion
b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out
c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed
d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.
It may seem like the choices here are simple.
I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)
The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.
Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.
the best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.
when we are inwardly directed we are:
-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.
(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses
This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to an outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.
Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.
Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.
Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A Valentines Dinner: A Raw Gourmet Feast
This evening Clara prepared an amazing raw gourmet dinner for Valentines Day. The theme was Mediterranean. Joining us for dinner were friends who were getting their first taste of Clara's raw gourmet feast. The verdict by all was that not only was the food delicious but so fun to eat! Raw food has it's detractors, those who say a meal is not complete with out some meat protein and some refined sugars for desert. I could argue the point, but tonight I'll just say that we ended the evening feeling satisfied and with tummies happy. Thank you to my dear wife for making this valentines day so enjoyable and memorable!
Friday, February 13, 2009
I think I have caught the speaking bug
today I spent the noon hour as a guest speaker at a local toastmasters club. my friends Byron and Karen were there to cheer me on and around the room there were a number of unfamiliar faces. I stepped up to the front of the room and started off my inspirational speech with a great opening and left my notes behind as I got into my speech. About half way through I decided to try to incorporate some new material into the speech on the spot. some of it worked and some dropped like a rock. I was able to pull it out at the end and wrap it all up.
one of the aspects I love about toastmasters is all the constructive feedback from the audience after the speeches are delivered. I learned some excellent things about myself and the way I communicate from those new folks I met today.
and I'm sure I'll get some more feedback from my friend Jim who I'll see tomorrow.
Since joining toastmasters last year, I can see how I've improved and grown as a speaker and communicator.
one of the aspects I love about toastmasters is all the constructive feedback from the audience after the speeches are delivered. I learned some excellent things about myself and the way I communicate from those new folks I met today.
and I'm sure I'll get some more feedback from my friend Jim who I'll see tomorrow.
Since joining toastmasters last year, I can see how I've improved and grown as a speaker and communicator.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Having fun speaking
It was really fun tonight when I gave my speech tonight at toastmasters. we always have a great group in attendance and some really great speeches were given.
I've found that is is a welcoming group and the feed back from each speech was tremendous.
I've found that is is a welcoming group and the feed back from each speech was tremendous.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
A Review you should read: Hiram's CD release concert
This link below is to a blogger who was at and took in my brother's CD release Concert on Feb 7th 09.
As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.
http://www.andilit.com/?p=373
and if you like what you hear spread the word!!
As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.
http://www.andilit.com/?p=373
and if you like what you hear spread the word!!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Food for thinking
I spent the morning at Toastmasters Club officer training today.
I came away with some great food for thought.
Most of life revolves around our ability to communicate to one another. This world would be a lot better if people communicated well. Communication isn't just speaking although that is a big part of it. It is also listening to others and what they are saying to us.
How well are we doing at speaking and listening to those we love and to those we need to communicate with?
I came away with some great food for thought.
Most of life revolves around our ability to communicate to one another. This world would be a lot better if people communicated well. Communication isn't just speaking although that is a big part of it. It is also listening to others and what they are saying to us.
How well are we doing at speaking and listening to those we love and to those we need to communicate with?
Sunday, February 01, 2009
The March of Time and The Life of My Dreams
Dec, 2nd... and here it is Feb 1th 2009!!
December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.
Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.
My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."
It is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."
The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.
As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult. My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. it is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?
It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.
Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.
I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.
(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)
What is your story?
December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.
Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.
My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."
It is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."
The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.
As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult. My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. it is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?
It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.
Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.
I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.
(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)
What is your story?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Back on the horse
Have you ever made plans and written down some things you wanted to accomplish and then tucked them out of sight and they became "out of sight -out of mind?" Or made new resolutions to make life changes and found that another year has rolled on by with the resolutions still unrealized?
why do we do this?
is it for lack of dreams and plans? is it for lack of good intentions? is it for lack of desire and need? is it for lack of discipline and fortitude? Is it our own fears?
while these could certainly be factors contributing to unrealized resolutions... I think the question of personal motivation is the key to understanding why we accomplish certain things and let other things languish.
I recently read an article entitled "How Learners Are Motivated" by Matthew S. Richter. In the article Mr. Richter explains and argues quite eloquently (in a training context) that for people learning or adopting new information, the best and most effective way is by tapping into internal intrinsic motivation.
Society (our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, & peers) has a built into us the notion that the most effective way that we accomplish as new task is through external pressures and rewards. i.e. if you behave or work hard then you will get a cookie or a new toy or a gold star.
What happens when we take away these outside influences? when the boss at work is not riding our backs, or the guilt trip our friends and family put on us to eat better wares off and losses it's power?
Does the work diminish and unhealthy eating habits return? Mr. Richter's research indicates so. I know that all I have to do is take an honest look at my own life to see that this is so.
How many times have I vowed to really learn to speak French? As much contact as I had with it as a kid and my years in college, I could be fluent, alas those external motivations have been removed and I am not. What worked for me to pass my classes did not stick.
So how can I determine whether what I'm doing is out of external motivation or internal?
Mr. Mathew Richter breaks motivation down like this:
External Motivation(the obvious forces outside of our selves)
• Money
why do we do this?
is it for lack of dreams and plans? is it for lack of good intentions? is it for lack of desire and need? is it for lack of discipline and fortitude? Is it our own fears?
while these could certainly be factors contributing to unrealized resolutions... I think the question of personal motivation is the key to understanding why we accomplish certain things and let other things languish.
I recently read an article entitled "How Learners Are Motivated" by Matthew S. Richter. In the article Mr. Richter explains and argues quite eloquently (in a training context) that for people learning or adopting new information, the best and most effective way is by tapping into internal intrinsic motivation.
Society (our parents, teachers, coaches, bosses, & peers) has a built into us the notion that the most effective way that we accomplish as new task is through external pressures and rewards. i.e. if you behave or work hard then you will get a cookie or a new toy or a gold star.
What happens when we take away these outside influences? when the boss at work is not riding our backs, or the guilt trip our friends and family put on us to eat better wares off and losses it's power?
Does the work diminish and unhealthy eating habits return? Mr. Richter's research indicates so. I know that all I have to do is take an honest look at my own life to see that this is so.
How many times have I vowed to really learn to speak French? As much contact as I had with it as a kid and my years in college, I could be fluent, alas those external motivations have been removed and I am not. What worked for me to pass my classes did not stick.
So how can I determine whether what I'm doing is out of external motivation or internal?
Mr. Mathew Richter breaks motivation down like this:
External Motivation(the obvious forces outside of our selves)
• Money
• Bonus
• Punishment
• Praise
• Praise
Internal and Extrinsic Motivation
this part gets a little tricky and it it what we battle with inside (when these internal pressures are removed does motivation cease?)
• Guilt
• Ego Gratification
• Seeing the Value of
a Task
• Ego Gratification
• Seeing the Value of
a Task
Internal and Intrinsic (this is the fuel that sustains real learning and growth)
• When you have a
passion for
performing a task.
• When you perform
a task for the sheer
pleasure of it.
• When you freely
choose to perform
a task.
• When you have a
passion for
performing a task.
• When you perform
a task for the sheer
pleasure of it.
• When you freely
choose to perform
a task.
The key is to evaluate why you are doing what you are doing or why you are making the resolutions you are. Ask yourself if you have the support in place to move you from initial external motivation to intrinsic motivation that will sustain the change or learning you seek!
I'm taking a second look at what my real motivations are for learning to speak French.
I challenge you to take a second look at the resolutions you have made. with the right support you can move from being externally motivated to internally intrinsically motivated.
Now you know how to get back on the horse and ride your resolutions a reality!
by the way you can check out Matthew S. Richter at www.thiagi.com
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