To me a Muse is: That someone who stirs you to your depth of soul, awakens what as been dormant or sleeping within your heart and mind. One who stokes your passion for life and the creativity of the Divine that resides in you.
All the great people had someone that did this for them.
Will it happen to me? And how will I react?
Aren't love and passion strange things? It strikes when you least expect it, with whom you have just met or with whom you may have known for years and you have just "seen" for the first time.
The heart of the matter is so strange and fascinating. It is life, this unpredictable experience we call life. And I have realized that I must trust what it is meant to be. Yet I am not the casual observer. I take what life gives me and make the life I desire.
To desire someone, an incredible human being who makes me believe that the impossible is possible, who has touched a part of me I believed dead. Yet what happens if present circumstances indicate that I can't have her in my life as I desire?
And It has been said that if you love someone set them free, if they return of their own will and desire then they loved you in return. If they fly and don't return then love was not the foundation but something else. In matters of the heart we ultimately show our true selves and desires through our actions. And time will be the judge. I want someone that wants me for me and vice-versa, a companion to share my journey of life discovery and for me to share in hers. Will I let her go? Yes. Will I want her to return to me? Yes. But if she doesn't, what then?
I will love her as she goes, and will cherish and honor her wishes. I will not rashly speculate on the outcomes.
I am committed to pursuing an amazing life. In this pursuit, this journey of mine, I'll one day glance up and recognized an amazing woman that has walked into my life. All I'll know is that she will have awakened and taken me farther along on my journey to discovering a full life because she has walked some with me and for this I will be extremely thankful. Will I like the chance to share more of the journey with her? Exploring where life might take us together? You bet!
Yes my muse... I know you are out there!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
The Return Home
WOW! What a reunion it was! It was the BEST long weekend I've had in quite a few years. and all my worries were for naught.
What made it soo good you might ask?
It was like being with a closely knit extra large family ( albeit one that is stretched to the four winds and back again.) I was struck by the the ease with which everyone settled in with each other, whether we were seeing old friends or meeting new ones for the first time; there was a sense of comfort and familiarity from the oldies down to the babies!
Having been on the planning committee we knew that people would want to spend as much time as possible chatting and catching up or getting acquainted with each other so only a few actual events/activities were planned. (In hindsight we might have extended the reunion a few more days! just a note for those planning the next one in Australia)
The best thing for me was being able to share the memories and bonds that drew us all together in the first place. And then link them to the present. As MK's and TCKs our lives are often dualized (or cut into more pieces). We have these pocket of time and experiences scattered by geography that we often compartmentalize as a transition mechanism for when we move into a new cultural or geographic region. It is a way to "fit in" or be seen as "normal". What a joy it was to be in a group of people where those walls/divisions were not up. We could be unguarded with our hearts and know that we really were being understood and known. The reunion really was a return trip "home". As TCK's we know that "home" is when we are with each other.
Whether you reading this and were there at the reunion or are one of the ones we missed being together with (this time). You know there is nothing that made us more like family than living for years in a country not completely our own and in tight quarters during some of the most formative stages of life.
As I reflect over the cultural diversity and countries/areas represented in our group. England, Holland, Norway, Northern Ireland, Switzerland, countries in Africa, Christmas Island, Canada, Australia, S. Korea, USA, (please for give me if I neglected to mention your country) I see that no mater where we went to after VIS, we all adapted and yet the significance of our boarding school years has remained very much alive in us.
I am so glad that the reunion was a place where we didn't put our school on a pedestal and just shared the good/happy memories. There were some crappy/horrible experiences that sprang from living life together like that also. It is the whole spectrum of experience that made our school what it was.
To you who lived VIS with me and to all those that came before me and after me, Thanks for being part of my family for all these years!
What made it soo good you might ask?
It was like being with a closely knit extra large family ( albeit one that is stretched to the four winds and back again.) I was struck by the the ease with which everyone settled in with each other, whether we were seeing old friends or meeting new ones for the first time; there was a sense of comfort and familiarity from the oldies down to the babies!
Having been on the planning committee we knew that people would want to spend as much time as possible chatting and catching up or getting acquainted with each other so only a few actual events/activities were planned. (In hindsight we might have extended the reunion a few more days! just a note for those planning the next one in Australia)
The best thing for me was being able to share the memories and bonds that drew us all together in the first place. And then link them to the present. As MK's and TCKs our lives are often dualized (or cut into more pieces). We have these pocket of time and experiences scattered by geography that we often compartmentalize as a transition mechanism for when we move into a new cultural or geographic region. It is a way to "fit in" or be seen as "normal". What a joy it was to be in a group of people where those walls/divisions were not up. We could be unguarded with our hearts and know that we really were being understood and known. The reunion really was a return trip "home". As TCK's we know that "home" is when we are with each other.
Whether you reading this and were there at the reunion or are one of the ones we missed being together with (this time). You know there is nothing that made us more like family than living for years in a country not completely our own and in tight quarters during some of the most formative stages of life.
As I reflect over the cultural diversity and countries/areas represented in our group. England, Holland, Norway, Northern Ireland, Switzerland, countries in Africa, Christmas Island, Canada, Australia, S. Korea, USA, (please for give me if I neglected to mention your country) I see that no mater where we went to after VIS, we all adapted and yet the significance of our boarding school years has remained very much alive in us.
I am so glad that the reunion was a place where we didn't put our school on a pedestal and just shared the good/happy memories. There were some crappy/horrible experiences that sprang from living life together like that also. It is the whole spectrum of experience that made our school what it was.
To you who lived VIS with me and to all those that came before me and after me, Thanks for being part of my family for all these years!
Monday, July 12, 2010
In anticipation of a reunion
How do you feel when an event is just around the corner that is the culmination of years of planning and dreaming? I am heading into such an event in the next few days... I am filled with excitement, anticipation, and have a few butterflies in my stomach!
You see, it is a reunion of old friends and soon to be new friends that are all linked by a single fact.
We went to the same boarding school for a few years of our lives and can never return to that school as it has been closed for some 9 years now. From almost every continent we gathered during those school years just as we are soon to do again. Every generation has sent at least one representative. What an amazing gathering it will be.
My excitement and anticipation and butterflies all point to this reunion. As a member of the planning committee, I, along with the other members of the planning committee have spent time and effort to put this event together. I wonder, will it live up to my expectations? And to my dreams of reconnection with members of my boarding school family? and to the experiences of a childhood long gone?
Well... In a few days I'll know!
I have been blessed in many ways in my life. One of the most profound of those ways was the experience of growing up on two continents and between two countries and a mix of cultures that shaped who I am today.
Africa and North America are the continents that both beckon to my soul. At boarding school in Africa, filled with such a rich cultural mix from every continent, I learned that where we are "from" has a shaping effect on each of us that colors the way we interpret what our brain perceives from what our eyes can see. It taught me that there is beauty in the global cultural diversity and strength in our unity. When you play side by side with kids of every human skin color and live side by side a melding takes place. Understanding, awareness and appreciation of our differences and of our shared experience becomes a connecting force.
Why am I and my friends making the journey of thousands of miles to sit and chat or embrace each other face to face again after all these years apart? It is because at our roots we are connected by our common experience of having shared life together in some of the most formative stages of our lives.
I am stoked to see what this next week brings... I am going to do my best to let my expectations go and just enjoy the moment by moment.
I am SO looking forward to this wonderful gathering of amazing people that have contributed to my journey to discovering a full life!!
You see, it is a reunion of old friends and soon to be new friends that are all linked by a single fact.
We went to the same boarding school for a few years of our lives and can never return to that school as it has been closed for some 9 years now. From almost every continent we gathered during those school years just as we are soon to do again. Every generation has sent at least one representative. What an amazing gathering it will be.
My excitement and anticipation and butterflies all point to this reunion. As a member of the planning committee, I, along with the other members of the planning committee have spent time and effort to put this event together. I wonder, will it live up to my expectations? And to my dreams of reconnection with members of my boarding school family? and to the experiences of a childhood long gone?
Well... In a few days I'll know!
I have been blessed in many ways in my life. One of the most profound of those ways was the experience of growing up on two continents and between two countries and a mix of cultures that shaped who I am today.
Africa and North America are the continents that both beckon to my soul. At boarding school in Africa, filled with such a rich cultural mix from every continent, I learned that where we are "from" has a shaping effect on each of us that colors the way we interpret what our brain perceives from what our eyes can see. It taught me that there is beauty in the global cultural diversity and strength in our unity. When you play side by side with kids of every human skin color and live side by side a melding takes place. Understanding, awareness and appreciation of our differences and of our shared experience becomes a connecting force.
Why am I and my friends making the journey of thousands of miles to sit and chat or embrace each other face to face again after all these years apart? It is because at our roots we are connected by our common experience of having shared life together in some of the most formative stages of our lives.
I am stoked to see what this next week brings... I am going to do my best to let my expectations go and just enjoy the moment by moment.
I am SO looking forward to this wonderful gathering of amazing people that have contributed to my journey to discovering a full life!!
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