Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Time on my mind

The last time I set my fingers to these keys and at this space I was looking forward to 2010 and what it held in store. Now as I sit to write half of 2010 is behind us! Time has a way of changing just about everything. Time offers the opportunity to stand back and see where this journey has taken me. I have taken the road less traveled. I have been able to rediscover a buried joy. Part of discovering a full life is discovering what bring joy and passion to our hearts. One of the things that brings me to life is movement. I am energized by putting my body in motion. Active sports that challenge my body and mind are such a joy! In the last six months I have retuned to a childhood passion, with and adult twist. I have retuned to the roller skating rink after 15+ years away and found my niche as skating ref for Womens Flat Track Roller Derby! Roller Derby is a hoot and a half!! :) It also reminds me that time has done a number on my body and I'm not as young and indestructible as I used to think I was. The other active pursuit I have taken up is weight lifting in the gym. The gym also reminded me of the passage of time, it takes me longer to recover from pulled muscles and pinched nerves! Even pulled muscles and such haven't kept me
from my passion for dancing, yep the music makes my body move! :)

Time has also given me some perspective on my inner life and the relationships that have come and gone in my life. I've come to realize that the heart is a finicky thing. And that what one wants changes with the seasons. I want someone to share life with yet I love my independence and individuality. I'm still learning where the balance is. I am too intense at the beginning of relationships and then pull back too far taking myself out of emotional reach. I sometimes wonder if I'm emotionally/relationally broken. I'm striving for balance, yet I feel like I take one step forward and then one step back when interacting with those I care about. I keep them and myself just out of reach.

Time has mellowed me somewhat but I've always been a guy that jumped first and asked questions later... I wonder if time will ever change that

What has time taught you?

I think I'm a little farther down the road to discovering a full life