Belonging Challenge

To all you guys and gals out there I'd like to invite you to this Belonging challenge. My friend Brice Royer has such a great idea. I envite you to join me as I take up Brice's Belonging Challenge.


In this world of interconnectedness we still need to know that we belong with other people in tangible ways.


The Belonging Challenge is designed for each of us to reach out to at least one other human being. One that we would not normally or automatically extend the hand of belonging to.

the Belonging Challenge is a series of challenges that break out of our comfort zone and perhaps build a better world.

Watch the video here:http://briceroyer.com/challengeready

One behalf of my friend Brice,

Thank you for joining us in this challenge, you belong with us!

Introductions, Labels, & "Where are you going?"

I've been thinking about labels. Some of my friends on MKnet have been discussing how we introduce ourselves and asking about how much we share in an introduction.

It seems as TCKs we get our identity and experiences from our childhood years, from the places we have lived and the the experiences that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. If I was to tell you that before age 4 I had experienced life in rural Mexico and the States and then began the rest of my childhood and teenage years in West Africa with two pivotal years (ages 10 and 11) in the the United States how would you respond? Does the fact that I have now lived (from age 17 to 35) and graduated from high school and college in the States make me seem more American?What I have done with these last 18 years in the States is part of what makes me who I am.

Certainly I have cross-cultural roots, but I have some roots here in the USA too.

Yes, the continent of my earlier years tugs at my heart, whispering sweetly in my dreams or shouting above the din of suburban life. But it is not the only voice. This country of my current sojourn makes its impassioned plea for my attention as well. From the sweet rolling hills of the blue ridge mountains to beaches of California and now to the foothills of the rocky mountains.

The traveling and living I've done in this land has been amazing.Were I made to choose between the land of my youth and the one where I make my current home...I must confess, I could not, for they are both so dear to me. It is not just the physical geography, but the geography and it's people (all my friends) that I have come to love.

For me, to be defined (or labeled) by where one had been is one thing, one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is defined by where I'm going, who I will be in the future. The past is gone, it is the future that is before me. Deciding who I am in the future starts with choosing who I am today.

Why is it that people always ask "where we you from?" and not "where are you going?"

Mind if I ask?...Where are you going in life from here?

Hylighter : A Collaboration Tool for Geographically dispersed teams

Collaboration tools. We live in a time that makes telecommuting to work a viable option. I recently came across a great tool at I think would help those of us that work creatively and in teams that have members that are geographically dispersed.

The web tool is called Hylighter. Take a look and tell me what you think.

Stepping Up to the Plate in the Game called Life

What do you say, how do you respond, when you are called upon unexpectedly to fill in for a co-worker in need? Yesterday morning I got a call from a co-worker that requested my help in the studio on my day off.

here are a few of the ways I could have chosen to respond:

a) say yes - but really resent the intrusion

b) say yes - because I was open and willing to go in to help out

c) say no - dismissing it without listening to the need expressed

d) say no - after listening to the need, explain why it was not possible for me to help at this time.

It may seem like the choices here are simple.


I have found that life comes down to simple choices. When we are presented with outside requests and demands on our time we must chose how we are going to respond. most of us tend to complicate matters and agonize over our decisions (doing so adds stress to the experience). When we are stressed we tend to make snap decisions based on our immediate feelings. (I've tended to look back on most of my decisions made based on alleviating immediate feelings of stress as imprudent and foolish)


The best course of response to others who "need" us unexpectedly or who make requests of our time and talent is to decide beforehand how we will respond.

Remember: with the help of our Creator, our lives are our own to direct.

the best defense against stress in the face of outside demands is to be inwardly directed.

when we are inwardly directed we are:

-choosing the priorities of how to use our time before outside influences and demands arise.
(there will be different priorities for different people at different times.)
-the key is to make choices & decisions before stress distorts our perception of reality
-planning ahead for for the curve balls life can throw our way.
-committed to sticking to our preplanned response, when it serves our goals.
-flexible to outside pressures because we have options in our responses


This week I responded on different occasions with the above answers b & d . B and D put me in control of my life and happy with the choice I made when responding to an outside demand. Choosing my responses was easy as I had done some "pregame" decision planning beforehand for each situation and request.


Note: when you make the decisions beforehand of how you will respond to whatever the outside demand on your time is, it is not unexpected anymore, you have "rehearsed" it already. You are ready to meet it.

Examine your life today. Are you reacting to outside situations that "govern" your life or are you living from within? You will enjoy your life more when you take the time to do some "pregame" decision planning and get proactive in your approach to life.

Doing so will enable you to step up the the plate in this game of life, and swing for the fences with confidence!

A Valentines Dinner: A Raw Gourmet Feast

This evening Clara prepared an amazing raw gourmet dinner for Valentines Day. The theme was Mediterranean. Joining us for dinner were friends who were getting their first taste of Clara's raw gourmet feast. The verdict by all was that not only was the food delicious but so fun to eat! Raw food has it's detractors, those who say a meal is not complete with out some meat protein and some refined sugars for desert. I could argue the point, but tonight I'll just say that we ended the evening feeling satisfied and with tummies happy. Thank you to my dear wife for making this valentines day so enjoyable and memorable!

I think I have caught the speaking bug

today I spent the noon hour as a guest speaker at a local toastmasters club. my friends Byron and Karen were there to cheer me on and around the room there were a number of unfamiliar faces. I stepped up to the front of the room and started off my inspirational speech with a great opening and left my notes behind as I got into my speech. About half way through I decided to try to incorporate some new material into the speech on the spot. some of it worked and some dropped like a rock. I was able to pull it out at the end and wrap it all up.

one of the aspects I love about toastmasters is all the constructive feedback from the audience after the speeches are delivered. I learned some excellent things about myself and the way I communicate from those new folks I met today.

and I'm sure I'll get some more feedback from my friend Jim who I'll see tomorrow.

Since joining toastmasters last year, I can see how I've improved and grown as a speaker and communicator.

Having fun speaking

It was really fun tonight when I gave my speech tonight at toastmasters. we always have a great group in attendance and some really great speeches were given.

I've found that is is a welcoming group and the feed back from each speech was tremendous.

A Review you should read: Hiram's CD release concert

This link below is to a blogger who was at and took in my brother's CD release Concert on Feb 7th 09.

As much as I think my brother has something to say with his music and the professional quality of the music production. Having someone who is not a blood relation, of whom no bias can be attributed, is the best one to tell you to have a listen to Hiram's music and discover for yourself what his music says to you.

http://www.andilit.com/?p=373

and if you like what you hear spread the word!!

Food for thinking

I spent the morning at Toastmasters Club officer training today.

I came away with some great food for thought.

Most of life revolves around our ability to communicate to one another. This world would be a lot better if people communicated well. Communication isn't just speaking although that is a big part of it. It is also listening to others and what they are saying to us.

How well are we doing at speaking and listening to those we love and to those we need to communicate with?

The March of Time and The Life of My Dreams

Dec, 2nd... and here it is Feb 1th 2009!!

December went quick, heck it seems like the whole of 2008 did too. Dec and Christmas time was spent traveling to see family in California and as a new job as a photographer/sales rep. The Holiday rush was a whirl wind that has now dwindled to a whisper and opened up the time for me to now put my thoughts to blog once again.


Thinking about motivation has got me looking at this next year, and wondering about what it will end up looking like. I got a link from a friend who has moved my thoughts on motivation to my belief in what effect I will have on what this year will turn out to be for me and my wife.

My friend Lisa Jordan (another TCK) sent me this link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-efficacy

Self-efficacy as stated in the article is "the belief that one is capable of performing in a certain manner to attain certain goals. It is a belief that one has the capabilities to execute the courses of actions required to manage prospective situations. Unlike efficacy, which is the power to produce an effect (in essence, competence), self-efficacy is the belief (whether or not accurate) that one has the power to produce that effect...."

It is related to the idea of desiny.. and " that people of differing self-efficacy perceive the world in fundamentally different ways. People with a high self-efficacy are generally of the opinion that they are in control of their own lives; that their own actions and decisions shape their lives. On the other hand, people with low self-efficacy may see their lives as somewhat out of their hands."

The idea that I have the power to change my situation. To accomplish my goals and dreams is HUGE.

As a TCK my childhood was proscribed for me. or so it seemed to me and it has affected the way I've reacted or acted in the face of life choices as an adult. My old patterns of coping with change and resting the responsibility for decision on others or procrastinating until the last second don't work any more. it is time for me to choose. Do I have a say in how my life will be or is it just up to fate?

It is easy to I say I have a say. The real question is what will I do about it.

Dreams stay that way with out practical application and action.

I've been talking about writing and speaking professionally for years. This year I will do it.
(it seems I've got high Self-efficacy doesn't it? yet it takes me way out of my comfort zone and into areas that I will need to work to perfect)

What is your story?